i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
