I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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