I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
