I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
