I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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