The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
