i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
