my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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