I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm passing your future prison.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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