I got chris browned last night
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
