When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize