You made me cry and you don't even care
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
