its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
