I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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