this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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