At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
