Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
