But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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