She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
