Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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