i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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