You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
