Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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