dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
