I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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