Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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