North Korea, Best Korea!
home. puking in laundry basket.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
