I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
