Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
