how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
