i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
