escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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