btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
