Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
