You're my little dorito
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
