She announced her abortion via fbk
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
