i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
