Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you had me at cake vodka
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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