he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
