Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
