i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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