In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
