I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
