Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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