Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize