so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
