but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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