I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My ass is underappreciated
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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