it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
