I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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